the-absolute-funniest-posts:

sodamnrelatable:

I’m hungry. ”I NEED food!”

Grab a bag of chips, oreos, milk, and a bowl of ice cream

After all the food is gone: “Omg I am so fat. I am going on a diet!”

And repeat.

 

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(Source: sydneydalton)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

you guys i opened a door to let the dogs out and a fucking spider ran across my foot inside and then i was screaming and my mom dropped a plastic bowl on it to not let it run away and then it fUCKING GAVE BIRTH ON THE FLOOR IN THE BOWL AND THEN WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING

WHAT DO I DO

ITS STILL IN THE BOWL AND ITS JUST HAVING MORE BABIES

FUCK

IT DROPPED MORE BABIES

MY DADS LIKE GASSING THEM WITH SPRAY AND ITS STILL GIVING BIRTH

YOU GUYS THOSE ARE ALL BABIES

FUCK MY LIFE

There is only one solution:

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(Source: inlouhazthrusts)